Sunday, August 02, 2009

Replying to Marty, Hopefully for the last time (UPDATED)

Marty Braemer has now confessed to the adultery that was broken as news here. It should be noted that Marty, as of 9:01 AM EDT, 08/03/2009, has taken back his slam of yours truly. Ok, he DELETED the slam. It should be also noted that I wrote a letter to the FFF explaining that I regarded them as having three options, none of which included letting Marty have a free shot at me. So again Marty does what's right, but after being FORCED to do so. I have not received an apology for his rant from him.
I copied exactly what he wrote without much in the way of observation, earlier in the day, now I shall reply, because he names me. Marty starts off well, and quotes an appropriate scripture. I have no quarrel with that and applaud him, as it is well done. No one can undo the past so you deal with failings in the best way you can.
"If you are you hoping for salacious details you will be sorely disappointed with this statement. I resigned the pastorate of the Fords Bush Bible Church on Sunday, July 26th following an admission to my wife on the previous Wednesday that I had violated our marriage vows and breached her trust. I sinned. I had a 9 month affair. No excuses. No details."
This I also have no quarrel with and I am not Marty's judge, but I thought since I would later judge remarks made towards me personally, I should make that distinction. In confessing fully and publicly to the sin he did commit, he need not name times and places, or even with whom he committed the act.
"I have spent the better part of a week going to individuals privately to repent. This morning the repentance was done before the corporate body. I am so sorry and sickened in my heart to have failed my God, my wife, my children, my family, and the church families I pastored."
Excellent as well. This is the trench warfare of repentance. Going eyeball to eyeball with those you have wronged. The problem is, a poster he knows at the FFF, says he hasn't done this.
"When you going to look my brother and father in the eye and say your sorry? When are you going to make ammends (sic) to the church regarding my family? All of a sudden they aren't such bad people and trouble makers and the church needs to know that."
All of which says Marty may be mostly angry he got caught, and is still judgmental, as always. His sins are always small by comparison to ours, supposedly committed in the act of apprehending him in his sin.

So Marty reverts to form. When you're apologizing for a sin as grievous and as long standing as his adultery over 9 months, you don't pick nits. The excesses of those that brought you to justice are not to be brought up by the accused, in view of the fact that the evidence was obtained in fully legitimate ways, and Church justice is not Civil justice. If you did it, and you confess to it, you should shut up about the behavior of those who nailed you. None of this would have happened if Marty hadn't dipped his wick where it was not supposed to be. Another man's wife. He gives as one of his reasons for posting publicly, the following:
"To stem the tide of some of the misinformation being reported as fact."
Unless it is to remove from suspicion, someone under suspicion or accusation, this is not an important goal for Marty. It is a plea he should make to his judges in the church, and allow them to correct if they see fit.
"Mr. McBryde did not break a news story."
Oh, but I did. There is no news publication in the world that had been willing to state it was adultery, including the blog "Conservative Babylon" which is by no means a Christian Publication. I held back a day until I published the news, after I confirmed it. I could have been 24 hours earlier with what are now largely substantiated names dates and places. I was tipped. I don't follow Marty Braemer around. I have made only passing references to him twice before this affair came to the public eye, and they were not harsh references. I emailed him first:
"Just Checking Marty, I would not wish to slander you.

Believe it or not, you have my prayers and support if this resignation was unplanned or does not represent an improvement in your life."
I was hoping for the best. Later as details began to come out I firmly drilled him about them, and asked for his confirmation or denial, he told me it was none of my business.
"I had already resigned and was in the repentance process before his blog published any of this."
Some of his now justified accusers, have not received his repentance yet.
"The church and the board already knew. There was no need to publish anyone’s name."
Marty could have easily told me it was adultery, and asked for my forbearance stating that if he did not confess, I could hold him accountable. One of the reasons I was approached with his story is that I have a reputation among those I have known, that also know him, as being discrete and honest. Those that came forward had to be convinced that I was a person of such character before sharing names dates and places, with the understanding that I was trustworthy enough not to publish personal detail that could be traced back to those witnesses.
"Hugh has been waiting for his chance to pounce since he was removed from this forum."
False, waiting and confirming is not pouncing. Marty does not occupy my thoughts.
"His pro views on polygamy and adult men engaging in intimate activity with under age girls is well known and documented. His motive is one of vengeance and not Christ centered discipline with the hope of restoration. God will deal with that in His own way just as He deals with all of us."
And so Marty backs up on a retraction he made two years ago.
"I withdraw my assertion that he is a sexual predator. Since that allegation insinuates criminal activity and to my knowledge there is no evidence to support this claim I hereby retract the statement."
I'm sorry, but the phrase "like a dog returning to it's own vomit" comes to mind. The retraction was not that sincere but I chose to take it that way to keep peace. It is now apparent that I was foolish to do so.
"The main source of information to Hugh comes from the letter of a former member. His letter contains erroneous misinformation and outright lies."
Yeah, but the core accusation turned out to be true, didn't it? Furthermore, I have no idea if I am in receipt of any of these specific materials. I know what I have, and that is is corroborated, and now confessed to by Marty.
"His account, as written on Hugh’s blog, of what transpired in my office is inaccurate at best. In the first place, he was not there, so what he wrote is hearsay."
Apparently the meeting did take place, just as I said.

I'm going to warn people right now. The man's apology is incomplete and sounds altogether like the apology of a man caught, who has no choice. 10 days ago Marty confessed to his wife. 7 days ago he resigned. He's moving already. He spoke of this as being a "whirlwind" couple of days like he was moving on to scary but exciting new career vistas. We do not know if he was exacting privacy agreements from the Church, or from the witnesses or threatening to sue if this came out. All we know is he resigned, did some quick damage control, and was headed out of town and then he was outed.

We cannot now know if he would have made his full confession. He could have plead that he was tired, made an oblique reference to moral failings, and dragged the red herring of distraction across his trail and laid low until he could inflict himself on another congregation. Probably he'll land at some job doing marriage counseling or conflict resolution. Perhaps he already has. Quick moves like this mean he's got something waiting for him.

My intimate debate contact with Marty says he doesn't deny as a first concealment for a direct hit. He does not reply to the rumored allegation that another adultery is in his past. That perhaps another adultery contributed to a church split. I'd like to know if he's had other adulterous affairs. If so, how many? He needn't name the consorts in question, but at this point we probably ought to know just how many dance partners he's had in life, and how many of them were married to other men.


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4 comments:

demoiselle said...

This is enough. You are being vindictive.
Turn the other cheek please.

Robert said...

It seems that all of Marty's repentance, and its fruits have been so invoked by outside pressure. It would be nice to see some true sorrow. A shred of humility.

...but only God knows his heart.

The Pharisee said...

For a good deal of us, true repentance is a process, that starts with being dragged, kicking and screaming into the light.

Robert said...

Num 32:23b ...be sure your sin will find you out.