Thursday, May 08, 2008

Why a Polygamist (Polygynist) is your friend.

I know most of the conservative Christians out there are from the monogamy only side of the aisle. For you, marriage is "one man, one woman, the way God Intended." But look around you. Marriage definitions in society at large are already breaking down. You and I know, as Monogamy only advocate, and Polygynist, that God defines marriage, not society. Just as Bible Believing Christians do not accept that abortion is NOT murder because courts say it is not, we also do not accept that society can tell us what marriage is. If society says gays can "marry", that doesn't make them married.

So we are trapped between the ideal of marriage and what the world insists that marriage is, or should be. I daresay a lot of you think that there really isn't any such a thing as divorce. I have good friends who think that even if you go get one, you're still really married, in God's eyes. I do think there are reasons to divorce, and that it doesn't necessarily bind you to stay unmarried for the rest of your life. You see. There are differences.

Face it. The world will have it's due. They're going to interfere with WHEN we think we can marry in terms of age. They're going to tell us that men and women are equal in divorce. They're going to tell us that divorce can occur for any reason. They're going to tell us pretty soon that two guys can marry a gal, or three gals can marry a guy and then those two groups can marry each other.

The BEST that can be done is to draw a line in the sand now. Up until now the only version of a "marriage contract" has been a prenuptial agreement and in many ways that is what a marriage contract is. You can't stop someone from leaving a marriage. I learned that all too painfully. You can claim they're still married to you, but even if in God's eyes you are, they'll behave as if they are not.

So the Polygynist (Polygamist) is your friend. The MONOGAMISTS friend. We want to define what marriage is to us, and in the process, we'll allow YOU to define what marriage is to you. Why is it for instance, that I can't agree in advance who gets custody? Suppose you are a monogamist and you say "the only way out of a marriage is adultery" and there is no adultery and your wife leaves you. She's going to get the kids. What if, however, you had entered into a legal agreement that automatically assigns the children to the wronged parent? She leaves you for some hot guy at the coffee shop, you have an agreement that says she can't. She CAN, but she loses things like property and custody in the process.

Do you see where I'm going with this? Society is at odds with us in the marriage agreement. Why can we not incorporate as many of the things we believe into a contract and have that be the predictor of the direction of the marriage? If your husband goes gay or bi and wants to bring his new friend into the relationship, he cannot. You've previously agreed. If he suddenly starts reading my blog and decides, "By Jingo, I think I'll get me some more wives," he can't, unless you and he agree to amend the agreement together. If you leave, the settlement of property is already lined out, in the marriage contract.

Society changes what the contract is and believe me, you are in a contract with your spouse as the winds of fashion blow. It may not have been possible to divorce easily in such and such a state 20 years ago, when you GOT married, but your spouse can go here or there now and divorce for reasons you did not think they could before. Protect yourselves. Line up behind the concept of Marriage Contracts.

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